Quotes

•  “Can I get a Picture of You so that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?”

•  “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”

• “There are two things you should never eat before breakfast: lunch and dinner.”

• “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.”

•  “Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.”

• “Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.”

• “Beer is now cheaper than gas, so Drink Don’t Drive!”

• “The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!”

• “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”